I didn’t know what was love. What I had in mind was something as simple as a princess found her ideal prince, they get married & live happily ever after. I also expect ones will never grow old, ugly or change as long as you have your prince charming all by your side.
After several years of searching for my one true love, I finally found my prince. It was the best thing that could ever happen to me & even for him. I used my own strength & effort to keep the relationship at the desired level even many claimed that when relationships grown old... we should expect less surprise, romance & attention. I refuse to believe all that because somehow I believe this man that I met... is different from the rest. The kind where everyone labels him as “ one in a million”, the “ extinct species”, and the man that is going to give me meaning in my life. This relationship not only fills part of my soul that is lonely, it gave me pride, hope & fulfilment.
My first year with him was good, second was even better & towards the third year, it was my life. I changed as time passed, I changed my priorities in life, my thinking, my attitude. I thought he likes the way I am but it was a mistake...that was my ever first wrong move in the relationship, I traded my personality for more love.... I’m soft, weak, & dependent now. However. I have only come to realised during the third year of the relationship, till the day he told me... I prefer you to be otherwise. There will never be a perfect explanation for the changes in him, but one thing I’m sure... he don’t love me as much as before. The relationship is transforming & fulfilling the prophesy of many “ relationship that has grown old”. There is nothing I can do to mend things... it came so quickly crashing over me like a killing wave. The more I struggle, the worst it has gotten... till a point where we need to give up, not our lives but all the hopes that we have in this relationship. Because it was just too tiring & tormenting. Love indeed is more than a fairy tale, the many ugly sides have not been revealed or explored. I was naive & ignorant, I stubbornly want to make up my own perfect love story, I do not have the courage to face the reality of life & the nature of human being.
Being left alone was a really painful moment. I shiver to sleep every night , most of the time I’m not able to think straight. I am lost & living with an empty soul ... I do not know how long will this last but I do know I have a choice here. I can decide to be happy or otherwise. I still have my family with me, Friends & most importantly my Abba Father. I need to move on, tears I have shed enough, now is time to realign my priority in life as it has been wrong from the very beginning. God should be the center of my life. I should not depend on man for love & they are certainly not the only subject that build my future. I chose to be free & happy, and so I will be.
